Sunday, September 30, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Well....WE'RE BAAACK!!!
September 17th (Gideon turned 21 months old today! AAUUUGGHHH!!!! Where has the time gone?)
The reason I couldn't tell y'all where we were going was because we went out of town for 2 weeks to CALIFORNIA!!! For obvious security reasons Michael and I didn't feel comfortable sharing that we were leaving our house empty for that long. (However, for the record, we do have a good security system.) We went to visit with Michael's family. The first place we went was to his oldest sister Pamela's house. She is married to Nash.
The "thing" I was referring to in my last post was taking my - not always obedient, and fairly hyper- children and toddler on a plane for FIVE HOURS!!! It is not my favorite family memory. :) It was VERY difficult at times. Actually the two older boys did fairly decent. It was the baby we had the most issues with. We tried Benedryl twice but it DID NOT have the effect we were hoping for. If anything, it just irritated him. :(:( People were making snide (quiet) comments at one point and I wanted to turn around and say something, BUT, I just clenched my teeth, prayed for patience, and tried to nurse him to sleep for like the 7th time. Even though the plane ride was a bit *challenging* there were good moments too. Thomas' excited voice floated over the seat as we took off, "We're FLYING Mommy!" Judah wanting me to hold him tightly as the place took off, looking out over the desert with the boys as we flew. All those were precious memories that I will hold in my heart for years to come. (that sounds too sappy for me. ) We got through the airport and caught the "train" to the car rental place. That was fun because the boys got a free ride that they enjoyed. In fact, we rode twice. :):):) The car rental line was SOOOOO long and I wasn't about to subject either them or me to the long wait; so, Michael stood in line and the boys and I rode the train around the airport and back to the rental line. That was fun because they just loved on Gideon and enjoyed the ride. We navigated out of San Francisco to Pamela and Nash's house in Auburn with relative ease. It was another 2 hour drive though so we were TIRED. YOu'd have thought the kids would sleep in ...heeheehee Nooooooooope. Jet lag time. We were up at 5:00am. hehe
We tried to contain them until N and P woke up (around 8:00am) but it was pretty difficult. However, I have felt God's peace continuously throughout this whole trip. He has been SO much a part of my thoughts and emotions. Thank-you God for being such an AWESOME Daddy!!
I got to eat at an In N Out Burger today. It was great! There are only 3 choices of burgers on the menu: double cheeseburger, regular cheeseburger, and a hamburger. It was shocked at how few choices there were but was IMMEDIATELY relieved because it only took me about 3 seconds to decided what I wanted. (For those of you who know me I know that you are considering that a MIRACLE.) I also got to ride in my first convertible today. So FUN!
Tomorrow we are going to lake Tahoe. I'm excited about that. I'll write more tomorrow. -
The reason I couldn't tell y'all where we were going was because we went out of town for 2 weeks to CALIFORNIA!!! For obvious security reasons Michael and I didn't feel comfortable sharing that we were leaving our house empty for that long. (However, for the record, we do have a good security system.) We went to visit with Michael's family. The first place we went was to his oldest sister Pamela's house. She is married to Nash.
The "thing" I was referring to in my last post was taking my - not always obedient, and fairly hyper- children and toddler on a plane for FIVE HOURS!!! It is not my favorite family memory. :) It was VERY difficult at times. Actually the two older boys did fairly decent. It was the baby we had the most issues with. We tried Benedryl twice but it DID NOT have the effect we were hoping for. If anything, it just irritated him. :(:( People were making snide (quiet) comments at one point and I wanted to turn around and say something, BUT, I just clenched my teeth, prayed for patience, and tried to nurse him to sleep for like the 7th time. Even though the plane ride was a bit *challenging* there were good moments too. Thomas' excited voice floated over the seat as we took off, "We're FLYING Mommy!" Judah wanting me to hold him tightly as the place took off, looking out over the desert with the boys as we flew. All those were precious memories that I will hold in my heart for years to come. (that sounds too sappy for me. ) We got through the airport and caught the "train" to the car rental place. That was fun because the boys got a free ride that they enjoyed. In fact, we rode twice. :):):) The car rental line was SOOOOO long and I wasn't about to subject either them or me to the long wait; so, Michael stood in line and the boys and I rode the train around the airport and back to the rental line. That was fun because they just loved on Gideon and enjoyed the ride. We navigated out of San Francisco to Pamela and Nash's house in Auburn with relative ease. It was another 2 hour drive though so we were TIRED. YOu'd have thought the kids would sleep in ...heeheehee Nooooooooope. Jet lag time. We were up at 5:00am. hehe
We tried to contain them until N and P woke up (around 8:00am) but it was pretty difficult. However, I have felt God's peace continuously throughout this whole trip. He has been SO much a part of my thoughts and emotions. Thank-you God for being such an AWESOME Daddy!!
I got to eat at an In N Out Burger today. It was great! There are only 3 choices of burgers on the menu: double cheeseburger, regular cheeseburger, and a hamburger. It was shocked at how few choices there were but was IMMEDIATELY relieved because it only took me about 3 seconds to decided what I wanted. (For those of you who know me I know that you are considering that a MIRACLE.) I also got to ride in my first convertible today. So FUN!
Tomorrow we are going to lake Tahoe. I'm excited about that. I'll write more tomorrow. -
Well, I didn't write more "tomorrow" as I'd planned but we're home now so I will finish the story of our trip.
We did get to go to Lake Tahoe. It was BEAUTIFUL!! I regret that we have no pics but our camera is broken and I really didn't want to take the video camera with us because it was so expensive and it scares me to have to be so careful with something. (sigh) We ate lunch in a restaurant deck overlooking the lake. After lunch we drove around the lake. We stopped at one point to hike on some rocks. That was fun. It was good for the boys to get out and have a bit of outdoor fun. Oh, we did stop at Donner Pass also. If you've never heard the story you should research that. It's fascinating. The cannibal jokes started soon after the stop. I was still so sleepy and I get nauseated when I'm that tired so I wasn't very thrilled with the joking. Normally I would have joined right in but not that day. :):) The day seemed very long because of all the driving. The next day we just hung out around the house. It was more relaxing but stressful too because their house isn't kid proof. They have really nice things. :):):) We even had to keep them away from lots of things outside. sigh. Thankfully they had a park across the street next to the lake. There we only had to keep them out of the lake. LOL (it was TOO cold for the lake) One morning I took off running. I was only going to be gone for 20 minutes. I was going to jog one way for 10 minutes and then turn around and jog back. I was so proud of myself for paying attention to the street signs so I would know how to get back. (I get lost really easily.) However, the day was so beautiful and the lake was so pretty (they have a lake in the middle of their gated community) and I thought I was about halfway around it so I decided to keep going. :) 32 minutes later I stopped jogging...something about jet lag, Gideon NOT sleeping well at night, and no breakfast made my body exhausted!! I walked for a bit and FINALLY came to the guard shack. I was relieved that I knew where I was but not so relieved when I remembered how much farther it was back to Pamela's house. Anyway, I walked/jogged the rest of the way back (Did I mention that I was also pushing Gid in the stroller during this episode?) and arrived back before Michael sent out a search party. The 20 minute jog ended up turning into a 1 hour and 15 minute escapade. :P I'm still surprised that michael didn't send out a search party for me. :) I couldn't even call him because my phone had died about 1/2way through the journey. oops.
We had a great time in Auburn, Ca. We left there on Thursday morning for Sequoia National Park. That was really awesome. I never thought I'd get to see sequoia trees. I remember studying them in school and wishing I could see them. :):) We stayed at the lodge in the Forest. It was nice. We had to unpack EVERYTHING from the van because of active bears. We even had to remove the kids' car seats because of bears. Once inside we ate the pizza we had picked up on the way in. We also had some fruit we bought at a roadside stand. Both were GREAT!
The next morning, after a wonderful breakfast buffet, we hiked around the park for about 1 hour. We hiked to the General Sherman tree. The hike was probably the most HUMILIATING experience with our kids to date. :) They were tired, cranky, fleshly, etc. Judah and Thomas fought and whined about EVERYTHING from the first step to the last. At one point I just burst into laughter because it was so embarrassing. I had to laugh or cry. They did like looking at the big trees. Michael and I enjoyed it too. In between trying to correct the kids' behavior.
After the hike we had a bathroom break and a change your clothes break and piled into the van to head to Michael's brother's house in Agua Dulce.
We started at 12:10pm. The drive was supposed to be 4 hours. We figured that we would at least get there by 5:00- in time for dinner. hehehe
The ride took...are you ready for this...8 1/2 HOURS of travel time to get there. AAUUUGGHHHHH
First we got stopped on the way out of the park for construction. The wait was 45 minutes. :( We ate our lunch from leftovers in the van. :) Then once we finally got down the mountain we made pit stop and Michael had to do some phone calls for work. I nursed Gid during that time so I wouldn't get mastitis. Then for the rest of the trip it was just one stop after another, bathroom, bathroom, bathroom, dinner, bathroom, stopped to get coffee and realized the Starbucks wasn't open for 2 more weeks. AAUUGGHHH!! Stopped at Target to return something. We FINALLY dragged our tired bodies to their door at around 9:00 pm. They looked tired too. :) I was immediately aware that their "outside" dog was NOT really an outside dog. sigh. I am allergic. This was a rottweiler. We had to get her used to us. That meant subjecting myself to her sniffing and licking me so that she would feel comfortable with me. Within an hour I was sneezing and knew we were going to have a problem. The GREAT part about Jacque and Nancy's house was that it was very kid friendly. They had obviously thought ahead. VERY SWEET! They also have a tennis court on their dirt (can't really call something a yard that doesn't have actual grass. LOL They are in the desert.) and the boys LOVED that! We did too. They could play outside and have fun without breaking...much. Their "flowers" weren't in danger because they were blooming on their cactus. LOL
The really ironic part about the dog was that she DIDN'T LIKE me and growled at me a lot and lunged at me a couple of times. So ANNOYING! I was the one person that was the LEAST amount of threat to her. I would have been happy to stay AWAY from her but we had to keep having her smell me and me feeding her from my hand, etc. to make sure that she knew I was her "friend". go figure. She was actually a really nice dog. She let my kids love all over her. She just didn't like me for some reason. She would be fine with me petting her, feeding her, etc. and then all of a sudden she would growl at me and come towards me. RME (rolling my eyes) I did get through the week stay there without getting bit. I consider that a blessing from God. Really.
Mom (MIL) had a nice get together for us at her house in Newhall (about 10 minutes from Jacque's) on Saturday night. It was really nice to see some of Michael's family. I got to meet my great niece. She is ADORABLE. I had fun holding her. She did too. I was swinging her around and she was squealing. :):) Judah and Thomas LOVED on her A LOT! She really liked Judah!
the rest of the week was spent hanging out at Mom's gated community pool, eating out, drinking expensive coffee from Starbucks, and seeing family.
We had a really great time. The plane trip home wasn't quite as bad but it was pretty rough. I decided, in advance, that if anyone around us made snide comments I was going to turn around and say, "Benedryl doesn't seem to work on our toddler but you're welcome to take some of ours if you'd like." I was really hoping to be able to use that line but nobody seemed to mind him. The flight crew was definitely MORE cranky on the second flight. They acted like EVERYTHING you asked them to do was a inconvenience. It was really getting annoying to look at their sour faces. (they MUST have been working a double shift) Anyway, I asked the guy for more cookies at one point for Gideon. When he brought them back I said, "Thank-you, and EVERYONE around us thanks you too." He laughed and broke out into this HUGE smile. He was a attractive young man when he smiled. The girl who was working with him started smiling more as well. Just goes to show how far a little humor can go. Thank-you Lord for laughter!
We have definite jet lag but we are glad to be home. We did manage to unpack and do school today; along with laundry and defrosting the deep freezer. Tomorrow we need to go monthly shopping at Walmart. We ate most of our food before we left. LOL
Anyway, this may be a light blog week. We'll see. Have a great week everyone and I have to say, "It's SO GOOD to see green grass again!!!! I love Georgia!!"
Blessings!- Angela :)
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Y'all Come Back Now Ya' Hear!
Well, this is the last post for about 2 weeks. I was trying to think of something meaningful to say. Something profound to leave y'all with...but all I could think of was, "Y'all Come Back Now Ya Hear!" Isn't that inspiring?! ROFL
No, seriously I have a great story from this evening.
I cannot give full details at this time but I will in the near future. :):)
I have been having a hard time working through something. I have been worried and anxious and terrified and panicky....etc. etc. etc. (Don't worry. It's nothing serious. If I told you what it was y'all would probably laugh. BUT it was something that I was REALLY struggling with.) Since I know the Bible tells us NOT to be anxious about ANYTHING "but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. " (Philippians 3:6-7) I was really trying to give it over to the Lord. In fact I was BEGGING God to help me change my attitude in regards to the situation. It was really overwhelming.
Today was particularly hard and I emailed a friend and asked her to pray. I explained what was going on. She replied that she would and would continue to pray throughout the evening tonight.
Well, at about 8:33pm something came over me. (or, more correctly Someone) I was just standing there thinking about the situation and instead of feeling panic or dread (which is what I had been previously experiencing) I just started to feel excited and the thought was whispered to me..."I am going on an adventure!" WOW! Talk about a WONDERFUL way to look at it. It was such a beautiful, quiet moment that I stood there in awe for a few seconds and then got down on my knees to thank God for hearing my prayers and the prayers of my friend. I could just feel them; ya know what I mean? :):) All this thankfulness started overflowing from my heart and out my mouth. It was great. I have been at peace ever since. :):) God REALLY REALLY is so VERY VERY GOOD!!! Thank-you again Lord for showing Yourself to me and for answering prayers. We truly do serve a very REAL God who DOES answer our prayers. Amazing!
Goodnight. See y'all soon.
Love, Angela :)
edited to add:
This is EVEN BETTER...
I was about to sign off and looked over at my new sidebar item "Daily Snippets From The Word" ( I hadn't read the verse for the day yet.)
This is what today's verse was:
The Lord hath heard my supplication, the Lord will receive my prayer. (Psalm 6:9)
IS GOD COOL OR WHAT?!
No, seriously I have a great story from this evening.
I cannot give full details at this time but I will in the near future. :):)
I have been having a hard time working through something. I have been worried and anxious and terrified and panicky....etc. etc. etc. (Don't worry. It's nothing serious. If I told you what it was y'all would probably laugh. BUT it was something that I was REALLY struggling with.) Since I know the Bible tells us NOT to be anxious about ANYTHING "but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. " (Philippians 3:6-7) I was really trying to give it over to the Lord. In fact I was BEGGING God to help me change my attitude in regards to the situation. It was really overwhelming.
Today was particularly hard and I emailed a friend and asked her to pray. I explained what was going on. She replied that she would and would continue to pray throughout the evening tonight.
Well, at about 8:33pm something came over me. (or, more correctly Someone) I was just standing there thinking about the situation and instead of feeling panic or dread (which is what I had been previously experiencing) I just started to feel excited and the thought was whispered to me..."I am going on an adventure!" WOW! Talk about a WONDERFUL way to look at it. It was such a beautiful, quiet moment that I stood there in awe for a few seconds and then got down on my knees to thank God for hearing my prayers and the prayers of my friend. I could just feel them; ya know what I mean? :):) All this thankfulness started overflowing from my heart and out my mouth. It was great. I have been at peace ever since. :):) God REALLY REALLY is so VERY VERY GOOD!!! Thank-you again Lord for showing Yourself to me and for answering prayers. We truly do serve a very REAL God who DOES answer our prayers. Amazing!
Goodnight. See y'all soon.
Love, Angela :)
edited to add:
This is EVEN BETTER...
I was about to sign off and looked over at my new sidebar item "Daily Snippets From The Word" ( I hadn't read the verse for the day yet.)
This is what today's verse was:
The Lord hath heard my supplication, the Lord will receive my prayer. (Psalm 6:9)
IS GOD COOL OR WHAT?!
Friday, September 14, 2007
Blessings
First of all, I just want you all to know that I will not be blogging for about 2 weeks. Nothing is seriously wrong so don't freak out. :):) If I can get a moment I will blog but it probably won't happen past tomorrow night. So, just a warning...everyone who is commenting on my gender role post...BE NICE! lol
In other news I got a wonderful blessing last night. I "met" a woman on a forum when I was pregnant with Thomas. So, I've "known" her for about 4 1/2 -5 years. I had posted something about our miscarriage and she asked a personal question about it. So, I emailed her instead of posting my response on the forum for the whole world to see. Since that time we have emailed back and forth. In the beginning we emailed, sometimes, 2 times a day. We really got to know each other very well and we think A LOT alike. She is a military wife (Marine) and they have been stationed in Japan for 5+ years. Very recently they were reassigned to the USA!! We actually talked on the phone last night! It was SO GREAT. I wondered if it would be awkward at all to go from email to phone; especially since the past year we haven't had much time to correspond. Well, to my great delight it was not awkward AT ALL. In fact, we talked for almost 2 hours!!! Her voice was nothing like I pictured (she said mine wasn't either) but her personality WAS the same as in the emails. I just wanted to share that story because....well because I wanted to tell someone how neat this experience was for me.
Anyway, I will miss y'all for the next 2 weeks. BLESSINGS!- Angela :)
In other news I got a wonderful blessing last night. I "met" a woman on a forum when I was pregnant with Thomas. So, I've "known" her for about 4 1/2 -5 years. I had posted something about our miscarriage and she asked a personal question about it. So, I emailed her instead of posting my response on the forum for the whole world to see. Since that time we have emailed back and forth. In the beginning we emailed, sometimes, 2 times a day. We really got to know each other very well and we think A LOT alike. She is a military wife (Marine) and they have been stationed in Japan for 5+ years. Very recently they were reassigned to the USA!! We actually talked on the phone last night! It was SO GREAT. I wondered if it would be awkward at all to go from email to phone; especially since the past year we haven't had much time to correspond. Well, to my great delight it was not awkward AT ALL. In fact, we talked for almost 2 hours!!! Her voice was nothing like I pictured (she said mine wasn't either) but her personality WAS the same as in the emails. I just wanted to share that story because....well because I wanted to tell someone how neat this experience was for me.
Anyway, I will miss y'all for the next 2 weeks. BLESSINGS!- Angela :)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Check This One Out
Jennifer (the Jennifer on my sidebar) has a fabulous post up. Take some time to read it if you can.
Here's the link http://keithandjennifer.blogspot.com/2007/09/worldwide-child-mortality-rates-best.html
Here's the link http://keithandjennifer.blogspot.com/2007/09/worldwide-child-mortality-rates-best.html
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Lighter Post
It seems a lot of our posts are heavy lately so I thought I'd do a fun one. :):):)
I got these out of the latest issue of Reader's Digest. I thought these were hysterical (or at least mildly humorous) so please enjoy...(I chose my top favorites to post here.)
STAND-UP COMICS' FUNNIEST ONE LINERS
I constantly walk into a room and I don't remember why. But for some reason, I think there's going to be a clue in the fridge.
-Caroline Rhea
Have you ever noticed that anyone going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
- George Carlin
In high school, my sister went out with the captain of the chess team. My parents loved him. They figured that any guy that took hours to make a move was okay with them.
-Brian Kiley
So they're showing me, on television, the detergents getting out bloodstains. I mean, come on, you got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it. Maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now.
- Jerry Seinfeld
At what age do you tell a highway it's adopted? I think around seven because that's when they start wondering, "Hey, I don't look like the Kiwanis Club."
- Zach Galifianakis
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominate species. That may be, but I think there's one other thing: We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
-Jeff Stilson
Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I wear a scent called "new car interior."
- Rita Rudner
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
- Jeff Foxworthy
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE...ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?....
Women don't want to hear what you think.Women want to hear what they think- in a deeper voice.
- Bill Cosby
I got these out of the latest issue of Reader's Digest. I thought these were hysterical (or at least mildly humorous) so please enjoy...(I chose my top favorites to post here.)
STAND-UP COMICS' FUNNIEST ONE LINERS
I constantly walk into a room and I don't remember why. But for some reason, I think there's going to be a clue in the fridge.
-Caroline Rhea
Have you ever noticed that anyone going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
- George Carlin
In high school, my sister went out with the captain of the chess team. My parents loved him. They figured that any guy that took hours to make a move was okay with them.
-Brian Kiley
So they're showing me, on television, the detergents getting out bloodstains. I mean, come on, you got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it. Maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now.
- Jerry Seinfeld
At what age do you tell a highway it's adopted? I think around seven because that's when they start wondering, "Hey, I don't look like the Kiwanis Club."
- Zach Galifianakis
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominate species. That may be, but I think there's one other thing: We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
-Jeff Stilson
Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I wear a scent called "new car interior."
- Rita Rudner
You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
- Jeff Foxworthy
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE...ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?....
Women don't want to hear what you think.Women want to hear what they think- in a deeper voice.
- Bill Cosby
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Difference Between the words SUBJECTION and SUBJUGATION
*Please read this all the way through and then decide what you think. If you already know what you think in this area then read through this and let it either strengthen your current belief or challenge it. *
WARNING...Long post- grab a cup of coffee or two. :):):)
I am posting about this because I think it is a very important topic today. Others are posting on this too so it's not like it's not being covered but one thing I want to stress here is the proper use of wording when making a point. How you word something can really sway people and that's why I think accuracy is of the utmost importance; especially if you are claiming to have the "true" information on the subject.
I think there is some confusion out there about a women's role in the home and where it comes from.
Before you read my thoughts I want you to read the blog post that inspired this post that I am doing. http://www.swingingfromthevine.com/2007/08/30/addendum-to-my-post-below/
Here the part I had the most problem with...This mentality of gender roles is unjust. It puts women at the mercy of men. They need to have a husband in order to survive. They need to have a husband in order to have an identity because after all, how can you be a pastor's wife without the "pastor" or "wife" part of it. This sort of thing bothers me not because of the theological differences I have with the SBC (which are many), but because it leads to the overall subjugation of women. The idea that women's roles are tied to their home, hearth and husband leaves them in a position of servitude without an identity separate from those roles…and then to take money from them to "teach" them how to do those things? well.. that's just disturbing. As I said before, I thought we in American were beyond this sort of foolishness.
OK before I comment on it I DO have to give credit to her for NOT belittling women who truly want to follow that path or making them out to be freaks. I also have to say that her point about charging so much money for "classes" on "how to be a wife" has definite validity. :):):)
The part that concerns me is obviously in the "gender role" dept. First of all the comment about them being "unjust" and that she thought "we in America were beyond this sort of foolishness" made me think about where "gender roles" originated. Let's take a look....
Ephesians 5:22-
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Colossians 3:18-20
18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Titus 2
1You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
6Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
9Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, 10and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.
11For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.
15These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.
To me anyway, it is very clear that gender roles originated with God. He set them up that way.
Do I always LIKE it the way God set it up?...NO! (My flesh often wants to go against the laws of God. )
DO I think that I should be the one to change what God has ordained and mandated? No.
Should we change what God has ordained and mandated? No.
Are we following what America does or what God asks us to do? I don't know about y'all but I am following God's laws; not perfectly but ploddingly and hopefully with a better and better attitude.
Before y'all pull out the big guns in your comments (and comments are ALWAYS welcome. I learn a lot from listening to the perspective of others) I want to say that I am NOT talking about wives staying in abusive relationships, etc.
I am talking about the family unit here.
For those of you who have a hard time with what women are called to do...remember the guys have it worse than us really....first of all, as the head of their homes they answer to the Lord as the responsible party. Also the job they have to love us "as Christ loved the church" is WAY harder than submission. (even when it doesn't seem like it) We all know how much Christ loved the church. To death...that's how much.
Gender roles do not put me at the mercy of men...or of my husband. They put me in a position to obey God and trust Him to take care of me. (again I am NOT talking about physical abuse here. I am NOT advocating women remain in an abusive relationship.)
I don't NEED a husband in "order to survive". I am free in Christ not to marry. BUT, since I did marry my chief role is "tied to my home, hearth and husband" and "leaves me in a position of servitude" because that's how GOD set it up. My chief job is my husband and children. Do some married women work outside the home, yes. Is it OK for them? If their husbands are OK with it and that's what they feel called to do then who am I to say no. Some need to work for financial reasons, they have my deepest respect. (especially the women who are putting their husbands through school- that's real love right there!!)
What I am trying to say here in this VERY lengthy post is this:
Let's not redefine gender roles because "that's what the culture is doing" or because "it's our right as Americans". We live in an AWESOME country and I praise God for our freedoms. Let's not look at our freedoms as a way to jump ship on what God is very clear on in His Word.
I DO have an identity outside of my marriage and family. I am a CHILD OF THE KING. My identity is in JESUS not in Michael (my husband) or in my fabulous, precious boys but because I am married with children my first job and obligation is to them.
Oh, and just for the record, I think being a pastor's wife is just as much a calling and ministry as being the actual pastor.
As for the wording used in her post I just want to clear something up here:
The definition of subjugation according to the American Heritage Dictionary-
TRANSITIVE VERB: sub·ju·gat·ed , sub·ju·gat·ing , sub·ju·gates
To bring under control; conquer. See Synonyms at defeat.
To make subservient; enslave.
The definition of subjection according to the American Heritage Dictionary.
TRANSITIVE VERB: sub·ject·ed , sub·ject·ing , sub·jects (sb-jkt)
To submit for consideration.
To submit to the authority of.
To expose to something: patients subjected to infection.
To cause to experience: subjected to extreme weather.
To subjugate; subdue.
I submit to you that the words subjection and subjugation are entirely different words.
In being subject to my husband I am submitting to the authority God has given him over me. (not very well at times but I am trying. )
Subjugation implies conquering, defeat, and enslavement. I don't think that's what God was saying at ALL. Our husbands don't conquer us or defeat us they are simply in authority over us. It is supposed to be a loving authority where they lay down their lives as Christ did.
Do all guys do that perfectly? NO WAY! But remember, we don't submit perfectly either so it's not like we can throw stones. :):)
Subjugation reminds me way more of other religions. I don't think I really need to give examples here.
One last thought. This is a personal example from our business. It's not even a husband and wife example but I think it's appropriate.
My husband and I are business partners. We each own exactly half of our company. He is the elected President and I am the elected Vice President/Secretary. One time a decision needed to be made and we had a disagreement about how to handle it. He ended up doing what he thought was best and I was VERY upset. I felt that he wasn't thinking about me as a partner. I thought he should have done things my way since I am a partner. Well I was talking it over with a friend and she made the comment that in a corporation there has to be an ultimate leader. Someone has to lead. There can't be two absolute leaders because it wouldn't work. I saw her point. He is the president and that gives him the right to trump my opinion. (He doesn't do that very often by the way. Usually we come to an agreement on business matters.) He listened to me and then made the best choice because he was the leader.
It's kind of the same way in the home. My husband is the leader because God set it up that way. That doesn't make me any less important. I am his partner, but there can only be one true leader in our home or there would be chaos. I hope that makes sense.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. What do y'all think?
BLESSINGS!- Angela :)
WARNING...Long post- grab a cup of coffee or two. :):):)
I am posting about this because I think it is a very important topic today. Others are posting on this too so it's not like it's not being covered but one thing I want to stress here is the proper use of wording when making a point. How you word something can really sway people and that's why I think accuracy is of the utmost importance; especially if you are claiming to have the "true" information on the subject.
I think there is some confusion out there about a women's role in the home and where it comes from.
Before you read my thoughts I want you to read the blog post that inspired this post that I am doing. http://www.swingingfromthevine.com/2007/08/30/addendum-to-my-post-below/
Here the part I had the most problem with...This mentality of gender roles is unjust. It puts women at the mercy of men. They need to have a husband in order to survive. They need to have a husband in order to have an identity because after all, how can you be a pastor's wife without the "pastor" or "wife" part of it. This sort of thing bothers me not because of the theological differences I have with the SBC (which are many), but because it leads to the overall subjugation of women. The idea that women's roles are tied to their home, hearth and husband leaves them in a position of servitude without an identity separate from those roles…and then to take money from them to "teach" them how to do those things? well.. that's just disturbing. As I said before, I thought we in American were beyond this sort of foolishness.
OK before I comment on it I DO have to give credit to her for NOT belittling women who truly want to follow that path or making them out to be freaks. I also have to say that her point about charging so much money for "classes" on "how to be a wife" has definite validity. :):):)
The part that concerns me is obviously in the "gender role" dept. First of all the comment about them being "unjust" and that she thought "we in America were beyond this sort of foolishness" made me think about where "gender roles" originated. Let's take a look....
Ephesians 5:22-
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Colossians 3:18-20
18Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Titus 2
1You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. 2Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
6Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. 7In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.
9Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them, 10and not to steal from them, but to show that they can be fully trusted, so that in every way they will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive.
11For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. 12It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.
15These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.
To me anyway, it is very clear that gender roles originated with God. He set them up that way.
Do I always LIKE it the way God set it up?...NO! (My flesh often wants to go against the laws of God. )
DO I think that I should be the one to change what God has ordained and mandated? No.
Should we change what God has ordained and mandated? No.
Are we following what America does or what God asks us to do? I don't know about y'all but I am following God's laws; not perfectly but ploddingly and hopefully with a better and better attitude.
Before y'all pull out the big guns in your comments (and comments are ALWAYS welcome. I learn a lot from listening to the perspective of others) I want to say that I am NOT talking about wives staying in abusive relationships, etc.
I am talking about the family unit here.
For those of you who have a hard time with what women are called to do...remember the guys have it worse than us really....first of all, as the head of their homes they answer to the Lord as the responsible party. Also the job they have to love us "as Christ loved the church" is WAY harder than submission. (even when it doesn't seem like it) We all know how much Christ loved the church. To death...that's how much.
Gender roles do not put me at the mercy of men...or of my husband. They put me in a position to obey God and trust Him to take care of me. (again I am NOT talking about physical abuse here. I am NOT advocating women remain in an abusive relationship.)
I don't NEED a husband in "order to survive". I am free in Christ not to marry. BUT, since I did marry my chief role is "tied to my home, hearth and husband" and "leaves me in a position of servitude" because that's how GOD set it up. My chief job is my husband and children. Do some married women work outside the home, yes. Is it OK for them? If their husbands are OK with it and that's what they feel called to do then who am I to say no. Some need to work for financial reasons, they have my deepest respect. (especially the women who are putting their husbands through school- that's real love right there!!)
What I am trying to say here in this VERY lengthy post is this:
Let's not redefine gender roles because "that's what the culture is doing" or because "it's our right as Americans". We live in an AWESOME country and I praise God for our freedoms. Let's not look at our freedoms as a way to jump ship on what God is very clear on in His Word.
I DO have an identity outside of my marriage and family. I am a CHILD OF THE KING. My identity is in JESUS not in Michael (my husband) or in my fabulous, precious boys but because I am married with children my first job and obligation is to them.
Oh, and just for the record, I think being a pastor's wife is just as much a calling and ministry as being the actual pastor.
As for the wording used in her post I just want to clear something up here:
The definition of subjugation according to the American Heritage Dictionary-
TRANSITIVE VERB: sub·ju·gat·ed , sub·ju·gat·ing , sub·ju·gates
To bring under control; conquer. See Synonyms at defeat.
To make subservient; enslave.
The definition of subjection according to the American Heritage Dictionary.
TRANSITIVE VERB: sub·ject·ed , sub·ject·ing , sub·jects (sb-jkt)
To submit for consideration.
To submit to the authority of.
To expose to something: patients subjected to infection.
To cause to experience: subjected to extreme weather.
To subjugate; subdue.
I submit to you that the words subjection and subjugation are entirely different words.
In being subject to my husband I am submitting to the authority God has given him over me. (not very well at times but I am trying. )
Subjugation implies conquering, defeat, and enslavement. I don't think that's what God was saying at ALL. Our husbands don't conquer us or defeat us they are simply in authority over us. It is supposed to be a loving authority where they lay down their lives as Christ did.
Do all guys do that perfectly? NO WAY! But remember, we don't submit perfectly either so it's not like we can throw stones. :):)
Subjugation reminds me way more of other religions. I don't think I really need to give examples here.
One last thought. This is a personal example from our business. It's not even a husband and wife example but I think it's appropriate.
My husband and I are business partners. We each own exactly half of our company. He is the elected President and I am the elected Vice President/Secretary. One time a decision needed to be made and we had a disagreement about how to handle it. He ended up doing what he thought was best and I was VERY upset. I felt that he wasn't thinking about me as a partner. I thought he should have done things my way since I am a partner. Well I was talking it over with a friend and she made the comment that in a corporation there has to be an ultimate leader. Someone has to lead. There can't be two absolute leaders because it wouldn't work. I saw her point. He is the president and that gives him the right to trump my opinion. (He doesn't do that very often by the way. Usually we come to an agreement on business matters.) He listened to me and then made the best choice because he was the leader.
It's kind of the same way in the home. My husband is the leader because God set it up that way. That doesn't make me any less important. I am his partner, but there can only be one true leader in our home or there would be chaos. I hope that makes sense.
Anyway, those are my thoughts. What do y'all think?
BLESSINGS!- Angela :)
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
NO!
No is a very revealing word. That single, simple, two lettered word can often reveal what's in the depths of a person's heart.
This applies not only to child training but also to our personal lives and hearts.
One day I was having a difficult time with the boys. (the two older ones that is) They were just at each other constantly. I was trying to be very consistent but it was wearing on me. Finally I had to take a bath and RELAX; so I parked them in front of my computer in the guest room to watch a short video.
I was in the guest bathroom so I could hear everything that went on and also could see them if I needed to. It was only a few minutes before they were arguing and irritating each other again. I told them to come into the bathroom. I proceeded to explain that because I couldn't trust them to obey when I wasn't in the room that they had to sit with me while I took a bath. NO, not IN the tub with me but in the bathroom. (on OPPOSITE sides of the room) They whined for a few minutes but I just told them to stop and went back to my book. All was quiet for a few minutes and they asked if they could get up. I asked them if their hearts were right, if I could trust them to behave, and also explained that if they so much as breathed on each 0ther wrong then they would be right back in the bathroom with me. They ASSURED me that they now had better attitudes and could get along. They said they would be obediant. heeheehee They went back into the guest room and sat back down.
Well, it didn't take long (surprise surprise) for them to irritate each other so it was back in opposite sides of the bathroom again. This time I made them wait quite awhile (FOREVER- to them) to get up. I wanted to make sure that there was a heart change this time. I wanted to see if I had been too quick the first time to let them go back. I wanted to see if they would be content to stay if I said, "No, you have to wait longer." Well the first time one of them asked and were told, "No, you must wait longer,"...oh the DRAMA that came forth. Crying, whining, frustration. I said that they had to sit there until they could be happy and have a heart change. I then ignored the whining and crying (except for a command to STOP) and went back to the book I was reading; seemingly unaware of their "pain". They asked a few minutes later and I again said, "No." Again this did not go over well. I then pointed out to them that when you have a good attitude because you're getting your way it doesn't mean much; but when you are told ,"no" and still have a contented, good attitude THAT really means something. I made them sit there until I was satisfied that they had genuinely good attitudes when I said, "no."
The funny (not funny haha, funny ironic) thing was that when I said to them that it doesn't mean much if you have a good attitude while you're getting your way but when you are told, "no" and have a good attitude that really means something" the Holy Spirit quickly pointed out (as He is SO GOOD to do) that I struggle with the same thing myself. I often have a bad attitude when I am told "no" whether it is by God, or my husband or someone else in authority over me.
One thing I like about raising kids and paying attention to what's going on in their hearts is that it's taught me SO MUCH more about the condition of my own heart. Thank God that He doesn't give up on me and that "He Who began a good work in [me] will be faithful to complete it."
Praise you Lord for revealing things to us, for caring so much about us, and for not letting us remain in sin.
Blessings everyone!!- Angela :)
This applies not only to child training but also to our personal lives and hearts.
One day I was having a difficult time with the boys. (the two older ones that is) They were just at each other constantly. I was trying to be very consistent but it was wearing on me. Finally I had to take a bath and RELAX; so I parked them in front of my computer in the guest room to watch a short video.
I was in the guest bathroom so I could hear everything that went on and also could see them if I needed to. It was only a few minutes before they were arguing and irritating each other again. I told them to come into the bathroom. I proceeded to explain that because I couldn't trust them to obey when I wasn't in the room that they had to sit with me while I took a bath. NO, not IN the tub with me but in the bathroom. (on OPPOSITE sides of the room) They whined for a few minutes but I just told them to stop and went back to my book. All was quiet for a few minutes and they asked if they could get up. I asked them if their hearts were right, if I could trust them to behave, and also explained that if they so much as breathed on each 0ther wrong then they would be right back in the bathroom with me. They ASSURED me that they now had better attitudes and could get along. They said they would be obediant. heeheehee They went back into the guest room and sat back down.
Well, it didn't take long (surprise surprise) for them to irritate each other so it was back in opposite sides of the bathroom again. This time I made them wait quite awhile (FOREVER- to them) to get up. I wanted to make sure that there was a heart change this time. I wanted to see if I had been too quick the first time to let them go back. I wanted to see if they would be content to stay if I said, "No, you have to wait longer." Well the first time one of them asked and were told, "No, you must wait longer,"...oh the DRAMA that came forth. Crying, whining, frustration. I said that they had to sit there until they could be happy and have a heart change. I then ignored the whining and crying (except for a command to STOP) and went back to the book I was reading; seemingly unaware of their "pain". They asked a few minutes later and I again said, "No." Again this did not go over well. I then pointed out to them that when you have a good attitude because you're getting your way it doesn't mean much; but when you are told ,"no" and still have a contented, good attitude THAT really means something. I made them sit there until I was satisfied that they had genuinely good attitudes when I said, "no."
The funny (not funny haha, funny ironic) thing was that when I said to them that it doesn't mean much if you have a good attitude while you're getting your way but when you are told, "no" and have a good attitude that really means something" the Holy Spirit quickly pointed out (as He is SO GOOD to do) that I struggle with the same thing myself. I often have a bad attitude when I am told "no" whether it is by God, or my husband or someone else in authority over me.
One thing I like about raising kids and paying attention to what's going on in their hearts is that it's taught me SO MUCH more about the condition of my own heart. Thank God that He doesn't give up on me and that "He Who began a good work in [me] will be faithful to complete it."
Praise you Lord for revealing things to us, for caring so much about us, and for not letting us remain in sin.
Blessings everyone!!- Angela :)
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Food For Thought (pun intended)
A friend sent me this and I thought it was very thought provoking. Not the deep over-the-head kind but the kind where the Holy Spirit is gently pointing out things to you. Enjoy.
A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day.
The Lord led the holy man to two doors.
He opened one of the doors, and he looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished.
They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the
handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.
There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, "I don't understand." "It's simple" said the Lord, "it requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."
When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of you!
Powerful isn't it?
A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day.
The Lord led the holy man to two doors.
He opened one of the doors, and he looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished.
They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the
handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.
There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, "I don't understand." "It's simple" said the Lord, "it requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."
When Jesus died on the cross he was thinking of you!
Powerful isn't it?
Why Is It?
Why is it that kids can be SO ear piercing at home, outside, in a store (LOL), etc. but you get them in a van and they whisper questions to you? Don't get me wrong. They are not always quiet in the van. They can be loud in there too but not for long because we don't allow loud noises in the van. (too distracting for the driver) What gets me is that nearly every time they try to ask us something in the van they whisper in a tiny tiny voice. We say, "Speak louder. We can't hear you." They up the volume to just under what my ears can hear. It's so weird.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
My Thoughts on the "Hot Button Topic"
I have been reading about this topic in a couple of blogs recently but I didn't comment for several reasons. #1- I could see both sides of the argument so I wasn't sure where I stood exactly. #2- I couldn't do it in a short form and I really don't like to leave too many novella comments. LOL #3- Everyone already had good points. I didn't have anything to add. I would have just mentioned that I saw what both sides were trying to present.
Well, I was able to talk through it with my WISE husband yesterday and things are a little clearer now. He was able to put into words what I was thinking and then some. (Those of you who know us will find this funny considering that I usually don't have a problem trying to describe what I think.)
Anyway...
The subject of "gay Christians" has come up several times recently. The question of "Can a person be born gay?" came up as well as the interesting question, "what do people who are drawn toward gay behaviors call themselves after they are born again? Should they refer to themselves as "gay Christians" or what?"
Here is a combination of both my and my husband's thoughts on the subject.
Enjoy but please read in it's ENTIRETY before forming a judgement.
question #1- Are people "born gay"?
Yes, in the same way that men are born liars, thieves, and drunkards. People are all born into sin but not all people struggle with the same sins. I might struggle terribly with controlling my tongue while another might struggle with lying and still another with drunkenness.
question #2- If a gay person becomes born again what do they call themselves? Are they "gay Christians"?
OK, first of all, my husband pointed out that you are what you do. If this new Christian is still practicing the gay lifestyle then yes they are still gay simply because that's what they are choosing to do. For those who have been set free from sin and still struggle with gay tendencies BUT DO NOT ENGAGE either mentally or physically then, no, they are not gay. Those who have tendencies toward gay sins but who are not dwelling on those thoughts or putting them into practice are in fact victorious in the same way that an alcoholic who still has cravings and desires for alcohol but who no longer indulges is living in victory. Sometimes people are set free instantly from certain sins; alcoholism, drugs, pornography, gay lifestyle, anger, malice, etc. Sometimes those people are not instantly delivered from the temptations and cravings and those people must rely strongly on God and others to keep them accountable, sober, etc.
My husband put it this way. If you have been set free from sin through Christ you are no longer gay. If you are tempted yet do not give in then you are walking in victory over that sin. If you are still struggling with having gay tendencies, thoughts, etc. then you should constantly pray and ask God to renew your mind. You can, and should, renew your mind with God's Word. You need to ask Him to bring your thoughts around to match what he created you to be- a heterosexual. Since He made us male and female that is what your "sexual orientation" should be. It may take time for some people. Some people may be delivered instantly. Renewing your mind is the key. Are you or should you call yourself a gay Christian. No, because you are not practicing the gay lifestyle and you don't want to align yourself with that lifestyle any longer. Can you be honest and say that you struggle with your sexual orientation and are asking God to renew your mind in that area- yes! People who have incorrect sexual orientation need help. They need support. They need prayer. They need to know they are not alone.
Sometimes we can be so quick to judge someone based on their words. I know that what we say IS important, but hear me out.
If someone is a new Christian and they struggle with incorrect sexual orientation then society has told them they were born gay and that's "who they are". They may not know what to call themselves. Simply explaining that the gay lifestyle is a sin and you need never to refer to yourself as such may be harsh for some people; especially if this is said without compassion for their struggles. Explaining the renewing your mind thing with an emphasis on HOPE in Christ to renew your mind to be what He created you to be (heterosexual) might be an easier way.
I am by no means saying to sugarcoat ANYTHING. You guys know me WAY better than that. I tell the TRUTH and have no trouble with calling sin-sin; but compassion is very very important. If we are simply correcting someone because they are wrong and need to change but not providing them with love, support, and caring then we have failed.
I have been privileged in the last 8 years to spend lots of time interacting with the recovery groups in this geographical area. (I'm talking specifically about alcoholics/drug addicts here.) There are some very awesome people who are in recovery and finding their way back to sobriety, life, and sometimes to Jesus. Lots of these people have been hurt by the church and many don't trust the church. They come to God apart from the church and then don't know how to integrate themselves once they are believers because they still don't trust Christians. There is also the fact that lots of Christians don't understand where they are coming from as addicts. They have a struggle that not everybody can relate to and it can help to be around others who struggle with the same things.
Sometimes Christians who attend AA are told by other Christians to stop referring to themselves as alcoholics and addicts and to quit going to AA because they "don't need it now. They have been set free." The well meaning Christians may be trying to encourage them but what they fail to look at is the recovering alcoholic's heart. AA has brought many people back to the Lord. Before you speak please remember that you need to look at a person's heart before giving them a "solution". Unless you have a clear cut word from God please take time to pray through what you say to those who are recovering from any kind of lifestyle.
Incidentally alcoholics refer to themselves as alcoholics because they need to remember they CAN'T drink. They can't even take one drink because they are not able to control themselves once they start drinking. Most use it as a form of remembrance not as a defeatist attitude. My husband put it this way, "I'm an alcoholic, not a drunk."
Look at what is going on in a person's life before you try to change anything. There are ways of telling the truth in love the way others can best receive it. :):)
Well, I was able to talk through it with my WISE husband yesterday and things are a little clearer now. He was able to put into words what I was thinking and then some. (Those of you who know us will find this funny considering that I usually don't have a problem trying to describe what I think.)
Anyway...
The subject of "gay Christians" has come up several times recently. The question of "Can a person be born gay?" came up as well as the interesting question, "what do people who are drawn toward gay behaviors call themselves after they are born again? Should they refer to themselves as "gay Christians" or what?"
Here is a combination of both my and my husband's thoughts on the subject.
Enjoy but please read in it's ENTIRETY before forming a judgement.
question #1- Are people "born gay"?
Yes, in the same way that men are born liars, thieves, and drunkards. People are all born into sin but not all people struggle with the same sins. I might struggle terribly with controlling my tongue while another might struggle with lying and still another with drunkenness.
question #2- If a gay person becomes born again what do they call themselves? Are they "gay Christians"?
OK, first of all, my husband pointed out that you are what you do. If this new Christian is still practicing the gay lifestyle then yes they are still gay simply because that's what they are choosing to do. For those who have been set free from sin and still struggle with gay tendencies BUT DO NOT ENGAGE either mentally or physically then, no, they are not gay. Those who have tendencies toward gay sins but who are not dwelling on those thoughts or putting them into practice are in fact victorious in the same way that an alcoholic who still has cravings and desires for alcohol but who no longer indulges is living in victory. Sometimes people are set free instantly from certain sins; alcoholism, drugs, pornography, gay lifestyle, anger, malice, etc. Sometimes those people are not instantly delivered from the temptations and cravings and those people must rely strongly on God and others to keep them accountable, sober, etc.
My husband put it this way. If you have been set free from sin through Christ you are no longer gay. If you are tempted yet do not give in then you are walking in victory over that sin. If you are still struggling with having gay tendencies, thoughts, etc. then you should constantly pray and ask God to renew your mind. You can, and should, renew your mind with God's Word. You need to ask Him to bring your thoughts around to match what he created you to be- a heterosexual. Since He made us male and female that is what your "sexual orientation" should be. It may take time for some people. Some people may be delivered instantly. Renewing your mind is the key. Are you or should you call yourself a gay Christian. No, because you are not practicing the gay lifestyle and you don't want to align yourself with that lifestyle any longer. Can you be honest and say that you struggle with your sexual orientation and are asking God to renew your mind in that area- yes! People who have incorrect sexual orientation need help. They need support. They need prayer. They need to know they are not alone.
Sometimes we can be so quick to judge someone based on their words. I know that what we say IS important, but hear me out.
If someone is a new Christian and they struggle with incorrect sexual orientation then society has told them they were born gay and that's "who they are". They may not know what to call themselves. Simply explaining that the gay lifestyle is a sin and you need never to refer to yourself as such may be harsh for some people; especially if this is said without compassion for their struggles. Explaining the renewing your mind thing with an emphasis on HOPE in Christ to renew your mind to be what He created you to be (heterosexual) might be an easier way.
I am by no means saying to sugarcoat ANYTHING. You guys know me WAY better than that. I tell the TRUTH and have no trouble with calling sin-sin; but compassion is very very important. If we are simply correcting someone because they are wrong and need to change but not providing them with love, support, and caring then we have failed.
I have been privileged in the last 8 years to spend lots of time interacting with the recovery groups in this geographical area. (I'm talking specifically about alcoholics/drug addicts here.) There are some very awesome people who are in recovery and finding their way back to sobriety, life, and sometimes to Jesus. Lots of these people have been hurt by the church and many don't trust the church. They come to God apart from the church and then don't know how to integrate themselves once they are believers because they still don't trust Christians. There is also the fact that lots of Christians don't understand where they are coming from as addicts. They have a struggle that not everybody can relate to and it can help to be around others who struggle with the same things.
Sometimes Christians who attend AA are told by other Christians to stop referring to themselves as alcoholics and addicts and to quit going to AA because they "don't need it now. They have been set free." The well meaning Christians may be trying to encourage them but what they fail to look at is the recovering alcoholic's heart. AA has brought many people back to the Lord. Before you speak please remember that you need to look at a person's heart before giving them a "solution". Unless you have a clear cut word from God please take time to pray through what you say to those who are recovering from any kind of lifestyle.
Incidentally alcoholics refer to themselves as alcoholics because they need to remember they CAN'T drink. They can't even take one drink because they are not able to control themselves once they start drinking. Most use it as a form of remembrance not as a defeatist attitude. My husband put it this way, "I'm an alcoholic, not a drunk."
Look at what is going on in a person's life before you try to change anything. There are ways of telling the truth in love the way others can best receive it. :):)
Have Your Cake and Eat it Too
This has come from many weeks of thought on the subject, reading and listening to different ideas on child rearing, etc.
It seems that lately I have read/heard so many times, "You are NOT your child's friend. You are their PARENT!" "You are not supposed to be your child's friend. You are supposed to be their parent." and so on....
I submit to you that this is one instance where you CAN "have your cake and eat it too."
First of all I am NOT talking about being a "friend" to your child in this way...
Excerpts from a friend's blog who happens to be childless at the moment but made some pretty great observations and points.
The event to which I was responding in particular involved a mommy who allowed her child to act the fool and mess up someone's barely-above-minimum-wage work assembling a display of candy. This woman did and said nothing that could have been twisted to be construed as any form of correction, reprimand or suggestion of appropriate behavior-- even after the fit was thrown. As she left the gas station, she picked up the child and was cooing at him as if he were the most adorable thing on earth. Her treatment reminded me of someone standing before the golden bovine image of Baal...
What I witnessed was not parenting, but coddling from a woman who was so impressed with how adorable her child was to her that she did not love him enough to train him up in a way that will benefit him. What I saw was coddling, adoration, and NOT parenting. I am all about treating a child like a child, and cooing over him or her, but not when he or she has done something WRONG.
Some of these parents I am noticing now seem to be falling down on their jobs, though-- and they don't seem to care. They seem to be just so enamored of their adorable little babies that they are neglecting their responsibilities and obligations to these little people.
I am also not talking about being so starved for affection that you neglect your parenting responsibilities in favor of being your child's "friend".
I kept thinking over and over the last few weeks, "what bugs me so much in the statement that I cannot be my child's friend?"
I thought and I thought and I thought some more.
During these times of thinking little boy voices punctured the thoughts with statements like these.
"Mommy you are my best friend." (said to me by Thomas as he laid his head on my shoulder.)
"Mommy I want to come with you because you are my best friend too." (said Judah as he got out of the van to come into the store with me.)
I thought about God as my parent and what He says about it in the Bible. God is my authority. He is also described as my Father. He disciplines me in his love, and yet, the Bible says that God has called us "friend". We are counted as friends of God.
"Hhhmmmm, "she said thoughtfully.
I then looked up the definition of the word friend in the dictionary (see, I really have given this a lot of thought) and it said this:
Friend-
NOUN:
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.
OK so disregarding definition number 5, and possibly number 4, depending on how you read that one, numbers 1-3 really do apply to me and my boys.
I also have some quotes from the infamous Michael Pearl.
"Be a friend. Do with them the things that they enjoy doing. Be caring. Be more ready with your ear than you are with your mouth. Be very sensitive to their concerns...."
"Parent, above all, you must cultivate that kind of a relationship with your child. It is painful to sin against your best buddy. If you can maintain this bond with your child you will never have a problem child."
"A child can't rebel against his best buddy....If you will praise and reward the desired behavior, there will be very little undesirable behavior. You will be speaking ten times the encouraging word for every rebuke......If your child is not doing anything praiseworthy then take his hand to walk beside you until he does do something worthy."
"Check yourself for balance by asking the question, 'Do my children view me as a stern and severe disciplinarian or as a cheerful and wonderful companion and guide?' Your judgments and punishments should be lost in the many hours of happy communion."
I have come to this conclusion...
You absolutely CAN be a true friend to your child as long as it doesn't supersede your authority as a parent. I am God's friend but He will never let that supersede the fact that He is the Supreme Authority in my life. He will never let me "off the hook" discipline-wise because I am His friend. I know that He is my BEST FRIEND but He is also the One Who holds the keys to death and the grave. He is also the Alpha and Omega, the Judge, My Savior, my Father, the One Who loves me beyond all comprehension, the one who disciplines me because He loves me. etc. etc. etc.
He is the perfect example of how to be both a friend and a parent. He is always the authority even while being my best friend.
So, there you have it. Now pass me the chocolate cake and please make mine the end piece with the HUGE frosting flower on it.
BLESSINGS!!
It seems that lately I have read/heard so many times, "You are NOT your child's friend. You are their PARENT!" "You are not supposed to be your child's friend. You are supposed to be their parent." and so on....
I submit to you that this is one instance where you CAN "have your cake and eat it too."
First of all I am NOT talking about being a "friend" to your child in this way...
Excerpts from a friend's blog who happens to be childless at the moment but made some pretty great observations and points.
The event to which I was responding in particular involved a mommy who allowed her child to act the fool and mess up someone's barely-above-minimum-wage work assembling a display of candy. This woman did and said nothing that could have been twisted to be construed as any form of correction, reprimand or suggestion of appropriate behavior-- even after the fit was thrown. As she left the gas station, she picked up the child and was cooing at him as if he were the most adorable thing on earth. Her treatment reminded me of someone standing before the golden bovine image of Baal...
What I witnessed was not parenting, but coddling from a woman who was so impressed with how adorable her child was to her that she did not love him enough to train him up in a way that will benefit him. What I saw was coddling, adoration, and NOT parenting. I am all about treating a child like a child, and cooing over him or her, but not when he or she has done something WRONG.
Some of these parents I am noticing now seem to be falling down on their jobs, though-- and they don't seem to care. They seem to be just so enamored of their adorable little babies that they are neglecting their responsibilities and obligations to these little people.
I am also not talking about being so starved for affection that you neglect your parenting responsibilities in favor of being your child's "friend".
I kept thinking over and over the last few weeks, "what bugs me so much in the statement that I cannot be my child's friend?"
I thought and I thought and I thought some more.
During these times of thinking little boy voices punctured the thoughts with statements like these.
"Mommy you are my best friend." (said to me by Thomas as he laid his head on my shoulder.)
"Mommy I want to come with you because you are my best friend too." (said Judah as he got out of the van to come into the store with me.)
I thought about God as my parent and what He says about it in the Bible. God is my authority. He is also described as my Father. He disciplines me in his love, and yet, the Bible says that God has called us "friend". We are counted as friends of God.
"Hhhmmmm, "she said thoughtfully.
I then looked up the definition of the word friend in the dictionary (see, I really have given this a lot of thought) and it said this:
Friend-
NOUN:
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.
OK so disregarding definition number 5, and possibly number 4, depending on how you read that one, numbers 1-3 really do apply to me and my boys.
I also have some quotes from the infamous Michael Pearl.
"Be a friend. Do with them the things that they enjoy doing. Be caring. Be more ready with your ear than you are with your mouth. Be very sensitive to their concerns...."
"Parent, above all, you must cultivate that kind of a relationship with your child. It is painful to sin against your best buddy. If you can maintain this bond with your child you will never have a problem child."
"A child can't rebel against his best buddy....If you will praise and reward the desired behavior, there will be very little undesirable behavior. You will be speaking ten times the encouraging word for every rebuke......If your child is not doing anything praiseworthy then take his hand to walk beside you until he does do something worthy."
"Check yourself for balance by asking the question, 'Do my children view me as a stern and severe disciplinarian or as a cheerful and wonderful companion and guide?' Your judgments and punishments should be lost in the many hours of happy communion."
I have come to this conclusion...
You absolutely CAN be a true friend to your child as long as it doesn't supersede your authority as a parent. I am God's friend but He will never let that supersede the fact that He is the Supreme Authority in my life. He will never let me "off the hook" discipline-wise because I am His friend. I know that He is my BEST FRIEND but He is also the One Who holds the keys to death and the grave. He is also the Alpha and Omega, the Judge, My Savior, my Father, the One Who loves me beyond all comprehension, the one who disciplines me because He loves me. etc. etc. etc.
He is the perfect example of how to be both a friend and a parent. He is always the authority even while being my best friend.
So, there you have it. Now pass me the chocolate cake and please make mine the end piece with the HUGE frosting flower on it.
BLESSINGS!!
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